Waiting (Week 14)

October 5th is coming up, and I'm waiting. Oct 5th is when I meet with the surgeon. Today, managing the pain pretty well with the help of essential oil therapy, Omega 3s, and ibuprofen. Able to move better, but still need to be careful.

And still feeling quiet. My energy seems to be a bit low, and I'm trying to do my best to not think too much.

I am loving the weather. :)

I get this, oh, I so get this.

Lately, I've been so aware of various videos, articles, and the like that have been popping into my path, and how they have touched me on a soul level with the synchronicity of it. Today, I found this article in my FB feed. I get it, and I love the information that she shares about how her experiences have changed her.

"Overcoming my physical limitations has been hard, but overcoming my emotional reaction to it has been the hardest obstacle to overcome. Learning to live in the now has been my salvation."

If you want to be inspired, check it out:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-things-go-wrong-you-can-thrive-not-just-survive/

Feeling Peaceful. (Week 13)

The surgeon returns to the office on September 20th. When I realized this, I found myself filled with fear. This meant, when he returns, that I might be able to see him before October 5th. Which means surgery was coming up.

I've gone from feeling guilty and frustrated that I couldn't heal it on my own to accepting and considering that perhaps that is where my path is meant to go. I've been paralyzed with fear in the beginning, to facing that fear. I'm still nervous, and yet...

As I lay here and type this, the skies are gray and it's drizzling outside. There's a chill in the air, and my little family is recuperating from colds they started with on Saturday. Our house has been quiet, with an abundance of cuddles and snuggles, sniffles and tea, and all of us lounging around in pjs. It's been an environment of healing with bursts of frustration, and a few aches.

Instead of finding myself frustrated, I am peaceful.

This morning, hubby finally slept in, so I woke up and left him tucked in while I cared and cuddled our youngest. Even managed to get my youngest to help me make soup, so that when he woke up the house smelled of homemade goodness.

He appreciated the scent of soup throughout the house and the hearty lunch. My eldest informed me that it immediately made her feel better.

I don't know where my path is going to lead, or what is going to happen in the next few weeks. What I do know, is that today, this moment, as I lay tucked under the covers and listening to the crickets outside, I am happy. I am peaceful. I am liberated.

Super Soul Sunday on Oprah...

The other day, a friend posted a link on my Facebook page. I checked it out, and discovered that it was one of a series of shows that Oprah is doing.

The breathing spaces, the speakers, the conversations...listening to them (usually while playing Spider Solitaire), have left me feeling fuller. The other day, a friend of mine asked me, "If this particle in you was a part of you that you've cut out from yourself, what would it be? I think it's your spirituality."

You know what... the day before I started to watch/listen to these. And they left me feeling a sense of peace, a sense of something I don't have a word for yet, that I have been missing. Did I cut myself off from my spirituality? Yes, I did a few years ago. And since then, I've felt a bit of a void and an emptiness. 

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/super-soul-sunday.html

Besides, with all of the political controversy (and, sadly all the hatred) at the moment I needed my spirit, my soul, a part of me to be nurtured with love, compassion, and peace. Thank you my friend, for this gift.

The Journey Continues (Week 13)

Today I met with my chiropractor to view the MRIs and compare them. Yup, there's a difference in the two, and it is worse. The disc has indeed degenerated (there is no fluid in it), and you can see the bulge in the second MRI. It covers the nerve. There might even be multiple particles as opposed to the one. I'm on the list to get in to see the surgeon when he returns. In the meantime, I'm focused on the thought that I'm right where I'm meant to be, and it brings me comfort.

I love that my chiropractor was happy to see that I'm standing up straight, even though I'm still in pain. Each time I talk with him, he inspires me. We can talk about anything. He encourages me to try the holistic medicines, that it's my choice and that who knows, I might still be able to heal before the surgery. He is a positive influence in my life, and I admit I miss seeing him twice a week for treatment. I also love how he encourages me to be spiritual... something that I haven't been in a long time.


Emotionally, mentally, even spiritually, this is a journey that is affecting each of those levels. Instead of over thinking, I've been BEing. I've found myself coming across some spiritual information, via links and suggestions. Listening and watching have brought me a sense of peace as I stop worrying about what I'm in control of... and what I'm not.

I don't know where this journey will lead, what the outcome will be. What I do know, is that I'm holding on to "This is just where I'm meant to be." That feels right... and that is what important to me right now.

Quiet (12 Weeks)

It would appear that I missed a week. There are many thoughts in my mind, and yet I've found myself being quiet on many levels - physically, communication wise, and in general. There is nothing new to report, save that there are days when the pain is less, and days when the pain is more. I haven't been back to the chiropractor because I don't want to re-agitate things, not to mention if I am going into surgery, why spend money on chiropractic. And so... I wait. Quietly.

I'm still not ready to "speak" just yet... No... I need a bit more time to be quiet, breathe more, and wait.

And so, I'll leave you with the song that's been in my head the last few days... :)