The surgeon returns to the office on September 20th. When I realized this, I found myself filled with fear. This meant, when he returns, that I might be able to see him before October 5th. Which means surgery was coming up.
I've gone from feeling guilty and frustrated that I couldn't heal it on my own to accepting and considering that perhaps that is where my path is meant to go. I've been paralyzed with fear in the beginning, to facing that fear. I'm still nervous, and yet...
As I lay here and type this, the skies are gray and it's drizzling outside. There's a chill in the air, and my little family is recuperating from colds they started with on Saturday. Our house has been quiet, with an abundance of cuddles and snuggles, sniffles and tea, and all of us lounging around in pjs. It's been an environment of healing with bursts of frustration, and a few aches.
Instead of finding myself frustrated, I am peaceful.
This morning, hubby finally slept in, so I woke up and left him tucked in while I cared and cuddled our youngest. Even managed to get my youngest to help me make soup, so that when he woke up the house smelled of homemade goodness.
He appreciated the scent of soup throughout the house and the hearty lunch. My eldest informed me that it immediately made her feel better.
I don't know where my path is going to lead, or what is going to happen in the next few weeks. What I do know, is that today, this moment, as I lay tucked under the covers and listening to the crickets outside, I am happy. I am peaceful. I am liberated.
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