I spent Saturday sitting on the couch watching movies. I had popcorn with hot cocoa for lunch, and I luxuriated in its buttery goodness. Later on, I got out my crocheting, enjoying the delicious texture of the yarn, seconded only by the delightful rainbow colors. I gave myself permission to skip my PT exercises (Shh! Don't tell my therapist!), and to just rest. Oh - it was bliss I tell you. Sheer and utter bliss!
And why is this such an important thing?
Because only a few months ago this was impossible without total and utter pain. I was lucky to be able to sit for 15 minutes, let alone spend all day on the couch.
This whole journey has been filled with lessons, and this morning was no exception. One of the biggest lessons has been that if I don't take care of me (getting enough rest, doing my exercises, eating the foods that nurture me, honoring my need to hibernate and to be social), my back will swiftly remind me that I've been lax. It will hurt and ache, and that's just not a good thing.
I used to be envious of those moms who were Super Women. The ones who can juggle 14 balls in the air while balancing on a ball on one leg. There were times moms like this made me feel inferior, because I just didn't have the energy to push on as they did. I used to feel weak, not good enough, that I "should" be doing more to dive in and help others while getting my kids to a ton of activities and not saying no.
And then I hurt my back, and I realized something. That's not who I am.
I grew up with a mom who is filled with energy, who can do 20 things at once, who can edge a bed and wield a shovel at the age of 70 better than I ever could. She was amazing, and constantly on the go. And I am surrounded by amazing women like this today. And although I admire them, I have realized, even before I injured my back - it's not me.
In July, I resigned from my job of 10 years. There were many reasons for this, but the biggest one was because I wanted to be more present for my children. I wanted to fully be with them, and not thinking or worrying about what I had to do for my job. As a bonus, it's enabled me to bump up the volunteer hours with their homeschooling programs.
But as I've taken on more, I was reminded that I only have so much time to give, and that now, my time is even more precious as my children are young, and growing fast, and frankly, I want to immerse myself in their hugs (while they still want to hug me). I want to savor the games we play together and reading to them. I want to teach them how to honor themselves, and how to trust that what is best for them, might not be best for others.
I am reminded that while some people can go and choose to go full speed, that may not be what is best for me. As my body changes with the physical therapy exercises, I may not look like a fitness instructor, but I'm different than I was last June. I can see the changes here and there, though others can't. I can feel the strength returning and my balance improving. I understand that when I don't get enough sleep, caffeinating myself isn't enough, there's a good chance that I will be in pain as a result, and I need to honor that.
By honoring myself, I can only compare me to me. This last year, I've become more aware of my limits. I really value my time and how I spend it, which I almost forgot, but was reminded of this weekend. And thus, I might need to say no to a few more things, continue to cut back on the computer time, and limit the activities. And that's okay.
Showing posts with label appreciation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label appreciation. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Snow, Sitting, and Snuggles (Week 33)
I promised myself today, that I must always live in a place where there is the possibility of being snowed in when it's winter. I love being able to snuggle up with a good book, a hot cuppa nearby, under a warm cozy blanket. I love staying inside and playing games with the kiddos (on the floor), and oh, have we been playing games! So very many (some at 3 a.m.)
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I couldn't do these things a month ago without being in a lot of pain afterwards. And let me tell you, for a woman who adores reading... not being able to curl up with a book, is not a good thing. One of my favorite things about winter, is watching and playing in the snow. And this winter, I'd given all hope of sledding down the back hill with my little loves.
However, last Saturday it was cool and snowy, and me and my eldest were planning to go out there and build a snowman in the quiet of the snow. You know, where you hear the flakes falling on your coat, the ground, the deck? I was out there, taking it all in before she arrived... and I couldn't help myself.
Like a kid who's been told to "Stay right there" I found myself picking up the sled, and making my way to the top of the hill. It was a bit slippery, but I didn't fall. I put down the sled, my adrenaline pumping for I SO love sledding in the winter, sat upon it, aimed, and let go.
It was brilliant.
It was wonderful.
So when my eldest came out to join me, I couldn't say no to at least one ride down the hill with her...
Bliss. Total and utter bliss. I held her tight, we let go, almost hit the house, but ended up laughing and dodging it at the last minute.
No pain either time.
In fact, I felt invigorated. When I went to PT this week... only 1 visit, I amazed the therapist by being able to show them a few yoga moves that they weren't sure of, to watch the therapist (I had a different one, as the usual was on vacation) who'd seen me once early on, be amazed as he challenged me to a side plank, and I bust out into the advanced version without a sweat.
I'm not back to where I was before this, and mind you, I'm still taking it easy and SLOWLY. But I'm gradually becoming so aware of my progress, and able to do things I never thought I'd be able to do again.
So, I'm taking it slow. I'm making the most out of the sunny days (I get out and walk if it's not too cold), and I'm thoroughly enjoying the snowy days, even though I can't sit as long as I thought and have to make sure I move throughout the day. (Which, has proven to be a very healthy thing, mind you...)
And occasionally, you'll catch me curled up on the couch with a good book, or even a good movie... Yeah, progress and loving it.
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I couldn't do these things a month ago without being in a lot of pain afterwards. And let me tell you, for a woman who adores reading... not being able to curl up with a book, is not a good thing. One of my favorite things about winter, is watching and playing in the snow. And this winter, I'd given all hope of sledding down the back hill with my little loves.
However, last Saturday it was cool and snowy, and me and my eldest were planning to go out there and build a snowman in the quiet of the snow. You know, where you hear the flakes falling on your coat, the ground, the deck? I was out there, taking it all in before she arrived... and I couldn't help myself.
Like a kid who's been told to "Stay right there" I found myself picking up the sled, and making my way to the top of the hill. It was a bit slippery, but I didn't fall. I put down the sled, my adrenaline pumping for I SO love sledding in the winter, sat upon it, aimed, and let go.
It was brilliant.
It was wonderful.
So when my eldest came out to join me, I couldn't say no to at least one ride down the hill with her...
Bliss. Total and utter bliss. I held her tight, we let go, almost hit the house, but ended up laughing and dodging it at the last minute.
No pain either time.
In fact, I felt invigorated. When I went to PT this week... only 1 visit, I amazed the therapist by being able to show them a few yoga moves that they weren't sure of, to watch the therapist (I had a different one, as the usual was on vacation) who'd seen me once early on, be amazed as he challenged me to a side plank, and I bust out into the advanced version without a sweat.
I'm not back to where I was before this, and mind you, I'm still taking it easy and SLOWLY. But I'm gradually becoming so aware of my progress, and able to do things I never thought I'd be able to do again.
So, I'm taking it slow. I'm making the most out of the sunny days (I get out and walk if it's not too cold), and I'm thoroughly enjoying the snowy days, even though I can't sit as long as I thought and have to make sure I move throughout the day. (Which, has proven to be a very healthy thing, mind you...)
And occasionally, you'll catch me curled up on the couch with a good book, or even a good movie... Yeah, progress and loving it.
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Monday, January 28, 2013
And Surgeon Says... (Week 32)
Let me start by saying that last week was a challenge. There are some things in life that still through me for a loop emotionally, and it takes me a while to get on my feet again. The good news is, that each time, I bounce back faster and more grounded.
Thus, after a few days where I was feeling a bit "off" mentally and emotionally, scattered and whirling with thoughts and ideas, I came to Friday. Friday morning I had my appointment with the surgeon. He's a good one in several locations, which means at least a two hour wait to see him, and you have to wait four weeks to get an appointment with him. I was supposed to see him in December... but because they forgot to schedule me, I ended up waiting until the end of January.
After three hours, we finally got to see him. By that time I was hungry, tired, really not wanting to be there... and I can only imagine how the kiddos felt. It was a quick visit as I wanted out, and really had nothing to say other than to get him to sign the PT form. I was hoping he'd tell me I was doing great... that I didn't have to see him anymore. Alas... he wants me back in 3 months.
Over the weekend I leaned into the feeling of being scattered. It was snowing, and I knew I was off when instead of leisurely watching it with a nice cuppa... I was pacing and agitated. I did settle in for some games with hubby in the afternoon.
I haven't been able to get out and walk with the snow and the chill in the air (15 degrees is too cold). Getting out and walking, I'm usually on my own, and it not only gives me a chance to move, but it's like a mediation. It makes me feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hmmm... perhaps I should consult a good friend of mine who walks indoors in her home... :)
Then today, I went to physical therapy. I got a workout today with various exercises and yoga poses, and felt super proud when he commented how hard one exercise was, and for me it was easy. The best part has been realizing that I can do some of the exercises that I thought I could never do. Proof that I'm getting better.
The PT told me that he thinks I might need another month and then I'm done. He said by April, I might be back to doing what I was. I need to do the moves slowly... but I can do a lot that I couldn't before. My movement and strength have really improved. My core strength is increasing.
April will be almost a year since my fall. It's been a long road.
Thus, after a few days where I was feeling a bit "off" mentally and emotionally, scattered and whirling with thoughts and ideas, I came to Friday. Friday morning I had my appointment with the surgeon. He's a good one in several locations, which means at least a two hour wait to see him, and you have to wait four weeks to get an appointment with him. I was supposed to see him in December... but because they forgot to schedule me, I ended up waiting until the end of January.
After three hours, we finally got to see him. By that time I was hungry, tired, really not wanting to be there... and I can only imagine how the kiddos felt. It was a quick visit as I wanted out, and really had nothing to say other than to get him to sign the PT form. I was hoping he'd tell me I was doing great... that I didn't have to see him anymore. Alas... he wants me back in 3 months.
Over the weekend I leaned into the feeling of being scattered. It was snowing, and I knew I was off when instead of leisurely watching it with a nice cuppa... I was pacing and agitated. I did settle in for some games with hubby in the afternoon.
I haven't been able to get out and walk with the snow and the chill in the air (15 degrees is too cold). Getting out and walking, I'm usually on my own, and it not only gives me a chance to move, but it's like a mediation. It makes me feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hmmm... perhaps I should consult a good friend of mine who walks indoors in her home... :)
Then today, I went to physical therapy. I got a workout today with various exercises and yoga poses, and felt super proud when he commented how hard one exercise was, and for me it was easy. The best part has been realizing that I can do some of the exercises that I thought I could never do. Proof that I'm getting better.
The PT told me that he thinks I might need another month and then I'm done. He said by April, I might be back to doing what I was. I need to do the moves slowly... but I can do a lot that I couldn't before. My movement and strength have really improved. My core strength is increasing.
April will be almost a year since my fall. It's been a long road.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving Week (Week 22)
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I have much to be thankful for this week - like being able to walk to the park down the way and around the circle in my neighborhood. I'm sore this week... hoping it's just from physical therapy, or walking... supposed to meet with the therapist tomorrow...
The good news is... I don't need as much ibuprofen... actually, I've been taking the curcumin (turmeric) which is helping a lot.
Here's hoping...
The good news is... I don't need as much ibuprofen... actually, I've been taking the curcumin (turmeric) which is helping a lot.
Here's hoping...
Monday, November 12, 2012
Fear, Sunshine, and Happiness (Week 21)
"In 3 months it's usually healed..." words from the surgeon echoed in my mind over the weekend as I dealt with fear and pain. Apparently, me and Aleve do not get a long. So, there was a bit of rebellion, then waiting for it to clear my system so I could return to the ibuprofen (which is like an old friend now).
Fear has been an old friend through this process as well. It has challenged me, and I face it a lot. In another month I will return to meet the surgeon. Who, is pretty convinced I won't need surgery. At the same time, he won't release me from care either, until he is certain. So, I breathe, and hope and pray that my back will heal.
Today, however, I took a break from fear. I started the morning with a meditation before I left the bed. I had breakfast in quiet while the kiddos slept in. My friend stopped by to massage my back. I woke the girls up with a song and hugs. I contacted the physical therapists, and found one that is in a nice location (the other two were in stressful traffic areas).
The weather was amazing, and we opened the window to air out my house. The girls wanted to go for a walk. I followed my intuition and went with it. The sun was glorious... and oh to walk and move! I had to be careful... I didn't push myself (oh how I wanted to go farther). It was so glorious, that we ate lunch outside. The wind chimes sang as the breeze danced through them. We smiled and laughed.
Later I caught myself humming which turned into singing, and a small bit of dancing. I knew I had to rest, so I did. Hubby came home I I couldn't stop smiling. There... I'm doing it again. I meditated again, and took care of a few things, ate the most delicious dinner, and here I am. Resting. Smiling. Happy.
I still need to remind myself to take it easy and slow. Tomorrow I meet with the physical therapist. I am filled with hope, but greater than that, I am filled with joy and peace, right where I am. It's nice. I hope it stays for a while.
Fear has been an old friend through this process as well. It has challenged me, and I face it a lot. In another month I will return to meet the surgeon. Who, is pretty convinced I won't need surgery. At the same time, he won't release me from care either, until he is certain. So, I breathe, and hope and pray that my back will heal.
Today, however, I took a break from fear. I started the morning with a meditation before I left the bed. I had breakfast in quiet while the kiddos slept in. My friend stopped by to massage my back. I woke the girls up with a song and hugs. I contacted the physical therapists, and found one that is in a nice location (the other two were in stressful traffic areas).
The weather was amazing, and we opened the window to air out my house. The girls wanted to go for a walk. I followed my intuition and went with it. The sun was glorious... and oh to walk and move! I had to be careful... I didn't push myself (oh how I wanted to go farther). It was so glorious, that we ate lunch outside. The wind chimes sang as the breeze danced through them. We smiled and laughed.
Later I caught myself humming which turned into singing, and a small bit of dancing. I knew I had to rest, so I did. Hubby came home I I couldn't stop smiling. There... I'm doing it again. I meditated again, and took care of a few things, ate the most delicious dinner, and here I am. Resting. Smiling. Happy.
I still need to remind myself to take it easy and slow. Tomorrow I meet with the physical therapist. I am filled with hope, but greater than that, I am filled with joy and peace, right where I am. It's nice. I hope it stays for a while.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Ups and Downs
Last night I was feeling super down. I'd been off the anti-inflammatory meds, and could feel that there was still inflammation. I popped some ibuprofen, and woke up this morning in more pain. I was scared. Should I have gotten the shot? Should I reconsider the shot?
I'd reached out on Facebook, letting others know that I was nervous, scared, sad (I left out that I'm also a bit premenstrual) and immediately received a slew of much needed support. I was feeling better this morning, even meditated (while in the office too), which really centered and calmed me.
I think I love my surgeon... He reminds me of a happy Deepak Chopra. He's funny and relaxed, he put me at ease by letting me know that I'm likely to have a few recurrences that I am to REST through and he agreed that I should wait on the shot (but, also reminded me that it's my choice). He's recommended another round of anti-inflammatories (Aleve) for the next 3 weeks topped off with physical therapy. And, I'm to see him again in another month... (I like him, but not the 2 hour wait to see him.)
Thus, I am again feeling positive and hope-filled. And hoping won't be so worried by the next appointment. Here's to physical therapy!!!!
And I just want to take a moment to thank you (you know who you are). Those of you who've offered help, those of you who've checked in, those of you who've given me rides, helped me to clean my house and feed my family, those of you who've simple "been there" (to listen, talk, etc.), those of you who've reached out over the miles (via phone, FB, email, visits)... Special shout out to my mom for spending a week and a half with us to help me with projects around the house, watching the kiddos and giving my husband a break.
My husband has been beyond amazing. As he said today while leaving the doctors, "Through better or for worse, right? Sickness and in health? Pandas and all... darn the fine print." And been there he has... from the running the house, to the nightly reflexology, to the supportive hugs when I need them and more... My love, awesome and great doesn't even come close. You are beyond that. Thank you.
Thank goodness for dear friends who entertained my kiddos and B&N both appointments - we are SO grateful. So... this means, I need to continue to rest and relax (and not over do it... not that I did this week), and figure out how I'm going to get to the physical therapy. One step at a time...
I'd reached out on Facebook, letting others know that I was nervous, scared, sad (I left out that I'm also a bit premenstrual) and immediately received a slew of much needed support. I was feeling better this morning, even meditated (while in the office too), which really centered and calmed me.
I think I love my surgeon... He reminds me of a happy Deepak Chopra. He's funny and relaxed, he put me at ease by letting me know that I'm likely to have a few recurrences that I am to REST through and he agreed that I should wait on the shot (but, also reminded me that it's my choice). He's recommended another round of anti-inflammatories (Aleve) for the next 3 weeks topped off with physical therapy. And, I'm to see him again in another month... (I like him, but not the 2 hour wait to see him.)
Thus, I am again feeling positive and hope-filled. And hoping won't be so worried by the next appointment. Here's to physical therapy!!!!
And I just want to take a moment to thank you (you know who you are). Those of you who've offered help, those of you who've checked in, those of you who've given me rides, helped me to clean my house and feed my family, those of you who've simple "been there" (to listen, talk, etc.), those of you who've reached out over the miles (via phone, FB, email, visits)... Special shout out to my mom for spending a week and a half with us to help me with projects around the house, watching the kiddos and giving my husband a break.
My husband has been beyond amazing. As he said today while leaving the doctors, "Through better or for worse, right? Sickness and in health? Pandas and all... darn the fine print." And been there he has... from the running the house, to the nightly reflexology, to the supportive hugs when I need them and more... My love, awesome and great doesn't even come close. You are beyond that. Thank you.
Thank goodness for dear friends who entertained my kiddos and B&N both appointments - we are SO grateful. So... this means, I need to continue to rest and relax (and not over do it... not that I did this week), and figure out how I'm going to get to the physical therapy. One step at a time...
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Better to be wiped out than in pain (Week 19)
Oh the tiredness... topped off by some viral bug this week, thus I've been laying lower than usual. Appetite is nil, but just enough to enjoy the maple syrup candy from Vermont care of my ILs. Yum.
I know I've been posting a lot about the process, but today, I had to express my gratitude. Today was gray and rainy, and it started warm, but there is now a cool breeze blowing that smells of autumn. I was able to stay on my feet all morning, even got some cleaning done while hubby went to the store. We put a pot of beef stew on the stove, that I ate for dinner, and it was lovely. And earlier, Hubby and I went off to Midsomer (as in Midsomer Murders). I was even lucky enough to have my youngest snuggle up with me and fall asleep in my arms.
Oh how I so appreciate the snuggles now, especially as they get bigger. Just this morning my youngest came to me, upset because she couldn't find her sister. "Mommy? Where is my sista? I need to find her. I need to give her a hug and kiss!" Sure enough, she found her and delivered.
Sweet bliss.
The anti-inflammatory medicine is indeed working. Fingers crossed that it continues to work through All Hallow's Eve next week, and that I won't need the epidural steroid shot.
And now I wish you all a good weekend, as I'm off to Bollywood for a few hours.
I know I've been posting a lot about the process, but today, I had to express my gratitude. Today was gray and rainy, and it started warm, but there is now a cool breeze blowing that smells of autumn. I was able to stay on my feet all morning, even got some cleaning done while hubby went to the store. We put a pot of beef stew on the stove, that I ate for dinner, and it was lovely. And earlier, Hubby and I went off to Midsomer (as in Midsomer Murders). I was even lucky enough to have my youngest snuggle up with me and fall asleep in my arms.
Oh how I so appreciate the snuggles now, especially as they get bigger. Just this morning my youngest came to me, upset because she couldn't find her sister. "Mommy? Where is my sista? I need to find her. I need to give her a hug and kiss!" Sure enough, she found her and delivered.
Sweet bliss.
The anti-inflammatory medicine is indeed working. Fingers crossed that it continues to work through All Hallow's Eve next week, and that I won't need the epidural steroid shot.
And now I wish you all a good weekend, as I'm off to Bollywood for a few hours.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Feeling Peaceful. (Week 13)
The surgeon returns to the office on September 20th. When I realized this, I found myself filled with fear. This meant, when he returns, that I might be able to see him before October 5th. Which means surgery was coming up.
I've gone from feeling guilty and frustrated that I couldn't heal it on my own to accepting and considering that perhaps that is where my path is meant to go. I've been paralyzed with fear in the beginning, to facing that fear. I'm still nervous, and yet...
As I lay here and type this, the skies are gray and it's drizzling outside. There's a chill in the air, and my little family is recuperating from colds they started with on Saturday. Our house has been quiet, with an abundance of cuddles and snuggles, sniffles and tea, and all of us lounging around in pjs. It's been an environment of healing with bursts of frustration, and a few aches.
Instead of finding myself frustrated, I am peaceful.
This morning, hubby finally slept in, so I woke up and left him tucked in while I cared and cuddled our youngest. Even managed to get my youngest to help me make soup, so that when he woke up the house smelled of homemade goodness.
He appreciated the scent of soup throughout the house and the hearty lunch. My eldest informed me that it immediately made her feel better.
I don't know where my path is going to lead, or what is going to happen in the next few weeks. What I do know, is that today, this moment, as I lay tucked under the covers and listening to the crickets outside, I am happy. I am peaceful. I am liberated.
I've gone from feeling guilty and frustrated that I couldn't heal it on my own to accepting and considering that perhaps that is where my path is meant to go. I've been paralyzed with fear in the beginning, to facing that fear. I'm still nervous, and yet...
As I lay here and type this, the skies are gray and it's drizzling outside. There's a chill in the air, and my little family is recuperating from colds they started with on Saturday. Our house has been quiet, with an abundance of cuddles and snuggles, sniffles and tea, and all of us lounging around in pjs. It's been an environment of healing with bursts of frustration, and a few aches.
Instead of finding myself frustrated, I am peaceful.
This morning, hubby finally slept in, so I woke up and left him tucked in while I cared and cuddled our youngest. Even managed to get my youngest to help me make soup, so that when he woke up the house smelled of homemade goodness.
He appreciated the scent of soup throughout the house and the hearty lunch. My eldest informed me that it immediately made her feel better.
I don't know where my path is going to lead, or what is going to happen in the next few weeks. What I do know, is that today, this moment, as I lay tucked under the covers and listening to the crickets outside, I am happy. I am peaceful. I am liberated.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
And now I wait...
Today I had my second MRI. I'm hoping insurance will cover it. I've decided that I'm not going to worry about the cost, because it will be another month or so before we have to face it. I hope.
I have to admit, that for me, there is something extremely centering about getting an MRI. Maybe it's the cocoon-like environment. Maybe it's all the clicking. I found myself comfortable, under a warm blanket, breathing deeply, while someone else had to focus on me for what turned out to be 45 minutes. It became a sacred meditation where the words peace, joy, hope, and love kept popping up. I repeated them over and over (in my mind, not out loud), and I found myself filled with a sense of peace.
There is the very real possibility that I might be facing surgery. And I've made peace with that. Actually, I've decided that if I do have to go through surgery, I'm going to turn it into a spiritual experience complete with an affirmation they can tell me before I go under, and a reflexology session or some other special way to help me heal for after.
Now that I've been forced to face my fear, if this is the plan... I'm going to make the most of it - and before and after.
Perhaps, just maybe, that is where this journey is bringing me, to being able to see my life and those in it as something sacred. And once I've experienced that, perhaps, just perhaps, it will help me to encourage others to find this in their own lives and remind me to continually celebrate it in my own life.
I have to admit, that for me, there is something extremely centering about getting an MRI. Maybe it's the cocoon-like environment. Maybe it's all the clicking. I found myself comfortable, under a warm blanket, breathing deeply, while someone else had to focus on me for what turned out to be 45 minutes. It became a sacred meditation where the words peace, joy, hope, and love kept popping up. I repeated them over and over (in my mind, not out loud), and I found myself filled with a sense of peace.
There is the very real possibility that I might be facing surgery. And I've made peace with that. Actually, I've decided that if I do have to go through surgery, I'm going to turn it into a spiritual experience complete with an affirmation they can tell me before I go under, and a reflexology session or some other special way to help me heal for after.
Now that I've been forced to face my fear, if this is the plan... I'm going to make the most of it - and before and after.
Perhaps, just maybe, that is where this journey is bringing me, to being able to see my life and those in it as something sacred. And once I've experienced that, perhaps, just perhaps, it will help me to encourage others to find this in their own lives and remind me to continually celebrate it in my own life.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Appreciation (aka ways to support someone going through a long term healing process)
The other day I had a discussion with a friend of mine who is recuperating from heart surgery. (She's on her own healing journey, and healing up wonderfully.) We realized that though we would never willingly choose to be in this position, we have been thoroughly amazed by the kindness and generosity of our friends and family during this time.
This led me to thinking about what a person can do for others who are in long term recuperation, or dealing with a disabling illness (from having a baby, to recovering from surgery, dealing with cancer, etc.) I know that before all of this, I wasn't sure what I could offer someone going through something so intense. Now that I've gone through it, I have a whole new perspective of how to treat others going through similar situations.
~ Offer to help where you can.~
Because chances are - we won't or don't want to ask. One of the things that has driven my friend and me crazy, is how we are forced to depend on others to help us, and how much we dislike being in this position. We've had a few people comment about how nice it must be to have people wait on us and do things for us. Actually, we'd trade spaces with you in a heart beat.
I have realized, that I don't like to be waited on. I don't like feeling as though I'm a burden. I don't like having to call and ask people to come and help me out with the kids.
It's really, really freakin' hard for us to ask for others to help us. Especially when we know they have other things to do or lead busy lives. I can also tell you, that we especially appreciate those who have super-busy lives who make time to help us and to check in.
Since I've been injured, I have gladly appreciated help cleaning, doing laundry, and help with the projects around the house. Otherwise it falls on hubby to carry the load. Now that I'm feeling better, I can do a few things to help out, but any lifting is off limits - which means laundry. (And ironically, I miss being able to do that the most!)
Please check in to see how we are doing. A phone call, a card, an email or electronic message makes a difference. A simple sentence telling us that you are thinking about us... can make our day. It is especially helpful when you ask us what we need. Granted, there's a good chance we'll tell you we're okay, but on those occasions when we need something from the store (both my friend and I can't drive for a while), it's appreciated.
Not to mention, it's just nice to connect with people.
My friend told me how grateful she was to have people sign up to bring her meals until August. She also got a lot of gift cards to restaurants. We were blessed to have a friend rally our other friends together and prepare meals that our family could eat. All four in our little family happen to have a food allergy or intolerance of some sort... so it meant SO much to have our friend coordinate ingredients and prepare recipes that all of us could eat. Not to mention, we got to try a few new foods. Yum!
As my hubby already does most of the cooking, this gave him a break. The first weekend we ate pizza for 3 days as we dealt with me being out of commission and the heartbreak of missing our vacation. And for me, I was overwhelmed with the generosity. It meant so much.
Even now, when we get the occasional offers of food - it makes a difference because it's one less thing my husband needs to worry about.
When my friend was in the hospital, she was touched by the friends who visited her there. Some visited every day. It really meant a lot to her having people check in and visit with her.
I know that for me, sometimes just having someone here to talk to and chat with kept me from sinking into a hopeless void of despair. Even if we were on computers in different rooms, having someone around to help if need be, meant something.
Having people stay here to help out, enabled me to really connect and have deep conversations that I otherwise wouldn't get to have, and which really made a difference. Many times I couldn't think of things to do or things that I needed, and then I realized it was just having someone to talk to, to be there, that really made an impact on my mood..
~~~~
A great big grand THANK YOU to those of you who've helped clean my home (I don't think it's ever been so clean as that first week when friends swarmed in to help. It freakin' sparkled!), who brought or made or contributed food, who've visited and sat and chatted with me, who've checked in, who've offered to help, who've done energy work... and more. I hope that your karma is well rewarded!!!
This led me to thinking about what a person can do for others who are in long term recuperation, or dealing with a disabling illness (from having a baby, to recovering from surgery, dealing with cancer, etc.) I know that before all of this, I wasn't sure what I could offer someone going through something so intense. Now that I've gone through it, I have a whole new perspective of how to treat others going through similar situations.
~ Offer to help where you can.~
Because chances are - we won't or don't want to ask. One of the things that has driven my friend and me crazy, is how we are forced to depend on others to help us, and how much we dislike being in this position. We've had a few people comment about how nice it must be to have people wait on us and do things for us. Actually, we'd trade spaces with you in a heart beat.
I have realized, that I don't like to be waited on. I don't like feeling as though I'm a burden. I don't like having to call and ask people to come and help me out with the kids.
It's really, really freakin' hard for us to ask for others to help us. Especially when we know they have other things to do or lead busy lives. I can also tell you, that we especially appreciate those who have super-busy lives who make time to help us and to check in.
Since I've been injured, I have gladly appreciated help cleaning, doing laundry, and help with the projects around the house. Otherwise it falls on hubby to carry the load. Now that I'm feeling better, I can do a few things to help out, but any lifting is off limits - which means laundry. (And ironically, I miss being able to do that the most!)
~ Check in. ~
Please check in to see how we are doing. A phone call, a card, an email or electronic message makes a difference. A simple sentence telling us that you are thinking about us... can make our day. It is especially helpful when you ask us what we need. Granted, there's a good chance we'll tell you we're okay, but on those occasions when we need something from the store (both my friend and I can't drive for a while), it's appreciated.
Not to mention, it's just nice to connect with people.
~ Meals mean more than you know.~
My friend told me how grateful she was to have people sign up to bring her meals until August. She also got a lot of gift cards to restaurants. We were blessed to have a friend rally our other friends together and prepare meals that our family could eat. All four in our little family happen to have a food allergy or intolerance of some sort... so it meant SO much to have our friend coordinate ingredients and prepare recipes that all of us could eat. Not to mention, we got to try a few new foods. Yum!
As my hubby already does most of the cooking, this gave him a break. The first weekend we ate pizza for 3 days as we dealt with me being out of commission and the heartbreak of missing our vacation. And for me, I was overwhelmed with the generosity. It meant so much.
Even now, when we get the occasional offers of food - it makes a difference because it's one less thing my husband needs to worry about.
~ Just being there, can make all the difference.~
When my friend was in the hospital, she was touched by the friends who visited her there. Some visited every day. It really meant a lot to her having people check in and visit with her.
I know that for me, sometimes just having someone here to talk to and chat with kept me from sinking into a hopeless void of despair. Even if we were on computers in different rooms, having someone around to help if need be, meant something.
Having people stay here to help out, enabled me to really connect and have deep conversations that I otherwise wouldn't get to have, and which really made a difference. Many times I couldn't think of things to do or things that I needed, and then I realized it was just having someone to talk to, to be there, that really made an impact on my mood..
~~~~
A great big grand THANK YOU to those of you who've helped clean my home (I don't think it's ever been so clean as that first week when friends swarmed in to help. It freakin' sparkled!), who brought or made or contributed food, who've visited and sat and chatted with me, who've checked in, who've offered to help, who've done energy work... and more. I hope that your karma is well rewarded!!!
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