This led me to thinking about what a person can do for others who are in long term recuperation, or dealing with a disabling illness (from having a baby, to recovering from surgery, dealing with cancer, etc.) I know that before all of this, I wasn't sure what I could offer someone going through something so intense. Now that I've gone through it, I have a whole new perspective of how to treat others going through similar situations.
~ Offer to help where you can.~
Because chances are - we won't or don't want to ask. One of the things that has driven my friend and me crazy, is how we are forced to depend on others to help us, and how much we dislike being in this position. We've had a few people comment about how nice it must be to have people wait on us and do things for us. Actually, we'd trade spaces with you in a heart beat.
I have realized, that I don't like to be waited on. I don't like feeling as though I'm a burden. I don't like having to call and ask people to come and help me out with the kids.
It's really, really freakin' hard for us to ask for others to help us. Especially when we know they have other things to do or lead busy lives. I can also tell you, that we especially appreciate those who have super-busy lives who make time to help us and to check in.
Since I've been injured, I have gladly appreciated help cleaning, doing laundry, and help with the projects around the house. Otherwise it falls on hubby to carry the load. Now that I'm feeling better, I can do a few things to help out, but any lifting is off limits - which means laundry. (And ironically, I miss being able to do that the most!)
~ Check in. ~
Please check in to see how we are doing. A phone call, a card, an email or electronic message makes a difference. A simple sentence telling us that you are thinking about us... can make our day. It is especially helpful when you ask us what we need. Granted, there's a good chance we'll tell you we're okay, but on those occasions when we need something from the store (both my friend and I can't drive for a while), it's appreciated.
Not to mention, it's just nice to connect with people.
~ Meals mean more than you know.~
My friend told me how grateful she was to have people sign up to bring her meals until August. She also got a lot of gift cards to restaurants. We were blessed to have a friend rally our other friends together and prepare meals that our family could eat. All four in our little family happen to have a food allergy or intolerance of some sort... so it meant SO much to have our friend coordinate ingredients and prepare recipes that all of us could eat. Not to mention, we got to try a few new foods. Yum!
As my hubby already does most of the cooking, this gave him a break. The first weekend we ate pizza for 3 days as we dealt with me being out of commission and the heartbreak of missing our vacation. And for me, I was overwhelmed with the generosity. It meant so much.
Even now, when we get the occasional offers of food - it makes a difference because it's one less thing my husband needs to worry about.
~ Just being there, can make all the difference.~
When my friend was in the hospital, she was touched by the friends who visited her there. Some visited every day. It really meant a lot to her having people check in and visit with her.
I know that for me, sometimes just having someone here to talk to and chat with kept me from sinking into a hopeless void of despair. Even if we were on computers in different rooms, having someone around to help if need be, meant something.
Having people stay here to help out, enabled me to really connect and have deep conversations that I otherwise wouldn't get to have, and which really made a difference. Many times I couldn't think of things to do or things that I needed, and then I realized it was just having someone to talk to, to be there, that really made an impact on my mood..
~~~~
A great big grand THANK YOU to those of you who've helped clean my home (I don't think it's ever been so clean as that first week when friends swarmed in to help. It freakin' sparkled!), who brought or made or contributed food, who've visited and sat and chatted with me, who've checked in, who've offered to help, who've done energy work... and more. I hope that your karma is well rewarded!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment